The Brightonomicon Audio Series

EP 1

The Incredible Encounter With Hugo Rune

In which Rizla is thrown from the pier and drowns – Rune rescues Rizla – Rizla signs a contract with Rune – a fine tweed suit is acquired – fine dining ensues – the Chronovision is invented by Father Ernetti – Rizla learns of The Brightonomicon – the Pope plays football – Mrs Janet Orion sends a message – the first case is undertaken – Rune encounters a rat bone – Rizla & Rune travel by cab to Hangleton – the Chevalier Effect takes effect – Rizla gets shot at

 

EP 2

The Hound of the Hangletons

In which Rune & Rizla meet Neville Orion – the rope is examined – Rizla takes tea with Mrs Orion – driving lessons cause concern – Rizla leaves Rune’s service – we meet Fangio the bar lord – toot is talked – Hubert the Tramp tells a secret – the Spanikov is found – Rizla takes Rune to task – the case is solved

 

EP 3

The Curious Case of the Centenary Centaur

In which Rizla meets a mysterious monk - Rune takes Rizla to the pub – Danbury Collins talks universal truths – Rizla is accused of being a CIA spook – a riot occurs and a centaur is unleashed – the monk informs Rizla he is in a coma – we meet Dr Proctor & Nurse Hearse – the Dr has a fairy-theory – the Queen Mother & Winston Churchill create the NHS – Rizla is body-snatched – chap-removal is interrupted – Rune rides to the rescue – Rizla learns the fate of his meat ‘n’ two veg

 

 

EP 4

The Monstrous Mystery of the Moulsecoomb Crab

In which we learn the history of Moulsecoomb from some American actors – Rizla encounters a bog-troll – Rune & Rizla take on the case of the crab costumed corpse – our heroes travel to Moulsecoomb – strange occurrences occur at the abode of the bog-troll’s twin – Rizla experiences Rune’s power – the General Electric Mini-gun makes a guest appearance – Rune & Rizla head forth upon the Sussex Downs – we trespass on secret Government property – the evil Dr Proctor reappears – a spaceship lands – our heroes are captured – Ahab the Space Crab reneges on the deal – the Moulsecoomb Militia attack – Rizla loses his mind (again)

 

EP 5

The Lark of the Lansdowne Lioness

In which breakfast is experienced – Rizla watches a Ministry of Serendipity information film - a miracle occurs in Lansdowne – Rune encounters the local police – a riot ensues (again) – Rizla retreats to Fangio’s pub – much toot is talked – Rizla visits Professor Nessor – we learn about The Golden Order of the Illuminated Sprout – Earl Grey is confirmed – Rune & Rizla prepare for the arrival of evil – Rune explains the past – midnight brings Victorian robotic death – Count Otto makes his move - a chase takes place

 

EP 6

The Curious Case of the Woodingdean Chameleon

In which Count Otto is most certainly back, and on the attack – Captain Moulsecoomb makes a GPS error – the Saucy Spaniel returns fire – Count Otto is defeated – Lazlo Woodbine is introduced – Rune leaves Rizla in charge for a case – Rizla becomes Lazlo Woodbine and heads for the bar – Fangio becomes dyslexic – we watch the croquet from Lourdes – Rizla learns about Father Ernetti from a violent Scotsman – a sniper is spotted – Rizla heads for the roof – Woodbine faces the Colonel in a rooftop showdown – Rizla reveals the truth to Rune – Lazlo makes a guest appearance

 

 

EP 7

The Scintillating Story of the Sackville Scavenger

In which our heroes learn of a new restaurant opening – Fangio loses his opening night tickets – a cabbie meets a stout stick – the police hold back the inevitable protestors – Rune & Rizla experience Eat Your Food Nude – dead rock stars proliferate – Rizla meets Robert Johnson – the Devil does a dastardly deal – Rizla is taken to the future – we meet President Hendrix – nuclear Armageddon inevitably occurs – Rune & Rizla enjoy much good food in the nude – a rat bone, compensation, the paparazzi and protestors cause Rizla embarrassment – Fangio gets more than he bargained for

 

EP 8

The Fantastic Adventure of the Foredown Man

In which Rizla is dead – the monk demands answers - Rune reveals his lordly status – our heroes use a cab and pay – Cutler the Butler causes mirth – a garden party is in full swing – Rizla falls in love – Fangio pleads for help – Kelly-Anne Sirjan plays easy-to-get – Rizla experiences the frozen death of Sir Jeffrey Primark – a mystery begins in the Library – we meet many Brighton toffs ‘n’ swells – Rune interrogates Rizla in the hallway – a Lord is flushed away – panic ensues – confusion and contempt cause catastrophe – a riot kicks off (sigh) – death comes quickly to the terrible toffs – our heroes survive & Rune explains all – the monk loses his cool – Rizla chokes - Count Otto finds a nut

 

EP 9

The Baffling Business of the Bevendean Bat

In which Inspector Hector comes calling with a cat conundrum – Rune & Rizla travel to Bevendean – Rizla is verbally abused by a long-dead archaeologist – the Bevendean micro-climate makes its mark – we visit a really small pub – Fangio can stand the noise no longer – a uniped explodes – Rizla solves the case – Captain Moulsecoomb & his pirates are called in – Rune explains all – Count Otto pulls a gun on our heroes – the pirates mutiny – Rune confounds Otto – Rizla saves Rune’s life – The Bevendean Bat takes a dive – the minibus is hotwired

 

 

EP 10

The Sensational Saga of the Saltdean Stallion

In which Rune & Rizla travel to Lewes – an urban myth is considered - we explore The Hotel California – Fangio reveals his usefulness – we watch the floats and parade – the Chiswick Townswomen’s Guild make their appearance – our heroes follow on behind – Count Otto is summoned – Rune & Rizla are captured (surprise surprise!) – Rune has a heart attack and dies – Rizla steals the map and runs – Norris Styver & his Morris Minor rescue Rizla – a high speed chase ensues – Norris becomes a murderer – Rizla discovers the horror of the Lewes one-way system – Norris reveals the horrific truth – Sam & Bill say hello – an ethereal tyre is punctured – Rizla does the dirty – Fangio saves the day – Rune reappears to confound and confuse – our heroes are stuck in Lewes forever

 

EP 11

The Bizarre Brouhaha of the Birdman of Whitehawk

In which our heroes escape from Lewes – we take a cab to Whitehawk and listen to local radio – Rizla does the business to a cabbie – a Big Black Car makes chase – the reinvented ocarina opens a portal – The Forbidden Zones are opened and explained – Rune & Rizla discover the Chronovision – Rune smites Rizla – Rizla awakens in a startling tepee – Rune admits to tampering with time – Chief Whitehawk talks toot and asks for help – our heroes experience an angry chef – Rune meets Rune – a movie deal is struck – a ghostly rat bone makes its presence felt

 

EP 12

The Wondrous One-Off Wiseman of Withdean

In which our heroes move to Hove – Rizla gets dragged-up – Mario makes a proposal – Rune causes Rizla’s downfall – we discover the truth behind heavy metal – Rune & Rizla head to The Albion – Fangio has zipper trouble – Lazlo Woodbine makes a return – tuna sandwiches and bar nuts feed the crowd – Rizla meets Rune’s followers and fans – heavy metal nights kicks off – Rizla is propositioned – Tobes de Valois is here one moment and gone the next – Rune meets a mysterious man – a gunshot is fired – Rune lies dead in the gutter – Rizla acts like a real girly and cries

 

 

EP 13

The Concluding Chaotic Conundrum of the Coldean Cat

In which Tobes realises his full potential – Rune is resurrected – the Chronovision is stolen by Count Otto – our heroes are carried into the Brighton underworld – Rune sets a bomb – Tobes & Rizla save the pussy cats – Rune, Rizla & Tobes are captured (once again) – the witches & pirates flee & Count Otto escapes – we re-enter The Forbidden Zones – Nathaniel the homing spaniel makes himself useful - Atlantis is discovered, and Tobes finds a pub – Fangio points the way one last time – the final showdown between Rune & Otto occurs – Count Otto loses his head – Fangio & Tobes say farewell – our heroes are pursued by cloned cabbies – Rizla is thrown from the pier again – we are back in Brentford – everything is explained by the monk (sort of) – Rizla learns who he really is (kind of) – there is a multitude of endings

 

CD Box-set Bonus Tracks

Lovely Extra Thingies Just For You

'Director's Curse - Cut Scenes & Out-takes' - presented by Neil Gardner (approx. 18 mins)

'In Production Podcast - In Conversation With Michael Fenton-Stevens' (approx. 6 mins)

'In Production Podcast - Talking Toot With Robert Rankin' (approx. 9 mins)